Touch Talk - Majula and Helmi
Photo by Majula Drammeh, 2021
Majula and Helmi recently started co-living together. Helmi is a four year old adopted rescue dog. In a conversation Majula shared so tenderly how she approached spending time with Helmi, creating a safe space first without touching her but slowly allowing trust to grow.
In witnessing their sensitive ways of being together, I felt I would love to hear how they are getting to know each other. This is a small excerpt edited from a conversation about touch during a lunch break where Helmi also is present. The audio recording is made ‘in situ’ and hence contains some room noises as well as pauses with Helmi speaking the language of movement, proximity and corporeal touch.
Photo by Majula Drammeh, 2021
Photo by Majula Drammeh, 2021
P: Hej Majula and Helmi!
M: Hej!
P: How long have you known each other?
M: Mmm, well.. just about two months. But I would say that we still don’t know each other. We’re still getting to know each other..
P: So two months ago is when Helmi arrived in Sweden?
M: Yes when I went to pick her up at the airport. She was in a cave, cage..?
Yeah in a cage.
P: Just now it was so beautiful to hear you talk about when she arrived at home, and those first days or weeks… Could you just share a bit? How you..?
M: Yeah basically I.. I gave her space. I gave her a place that was hers. A soft place, where she could see the whole flat, and then I just left her be, and I made sure she had water and food and I took her out, like quite often and then I just.. I just was there, like, space keeping for her.. So I would just be around and make her feel that I’m around. That I’m not asking anything from her. And then little by little, she.. cause she just slept and slept and slept… but then little by little she would actually like start to look me in the eyes or, come and at least sniff by my side.. or.. trying to make a bit contact showing interest, and still I would just stay put and not move too fast.
Yeah, just make, create a safe space for her to just be in.
P: Do you remember when you, the first time you had a kind of cuddle or….?
M: Yeah, actually I do, because she was laying down on her place and I had felt her looking at me for a long time, this was probably, like day six or something it was. And she had.. and for some reason I went, I mean I… She was looking at me for a long time and then I was like I don't know if she feels she can come to me so I went to her. And then, I tapped her a bit on the side of the waist and then I saw her as you did, I saw her eyes going, like closing her eyes a bit and enjoying just that touch. And then I did that for a while and then I moved here to her head, on her forehead. (Someone enters the room…) and then she continued to shut the eyes a bit and so then I knew kind of that she feels safe with me. So then I think I was tapping her for like half an hour or something just like that.. And she would just enjoy the touch..
P: Have you noticed if there is particular ways she seems to enjoy being touched? Or, vice versa that you enjoy when she..?
M: I mean, when she trusts someone she goes on the side and asks, like, or like I see it as if she asks me to touch her belly and she loves that a lot. But she also likes if you kind of sweep through, with your whole palm on the entire.. like, from the head all the way down the spine, all the way to the back. She likes that a lot.. Like traditional..
P: Full body stroke…
M: Full body stroke, that she enjoys.. (P: Yum..) A lot..
M: And then, I like it when she comes and puts her…. Vad heter det nos?
P: Nose?
M: Nose against something or pushes it against my hand or… Almost like asking me to, to touch her. For me that’s really clear what that, what she wants.. (P: yeah) And I really like that cause that means like, that she wants my touch..
P: yeah.. like an invitation to be ‘in’touch'..
M: yes exactly.
M: yeah, she likes also here.. the behind….
P: It’s really nice to see you hang out… after two months now?
M: yes! (laughter)
P: Thanks for sharing!
With thanks to Majula and Helmi
Majula is a performer and choreographer based in Sweden.